I’ve really fallen off the wagon these past…um…three months!! And every single day of these past few months I always tell myself ‘tomorrow i’ll start over’ ‘i’ll only have this one piece of chocolate’ ‘i’ll run tomorrow’….& i never once did. So as always, I’m sitting here on this computer eating junk & not have done anything healthy all day.
I’ve lost my motivation. I keep trying to think of who do I need to picture to get me back up…I could do it for my husband, for my doctor, for my family, blah blah blah.
But tonight, I stumbled across a music video. It’s Hanson’s Thinking ‘Bout Somethin’ video & I’ve always loved loved Hanson. Loved them then love them now. So I’m watching & I’m seeing Zac (who is my favorite in this video & is who made me realize all this) & Isaac dance around not counting all the other people in this video, & it’s such a freaking feel good song, & I’m thinking to myself ‘that’s me! that’s my personality!’ I’m a happy person who loves to sing & dance & laugh…I all the time randomly bust out a move to nothing.
And all of a sudden I got this burst of love from inside my chest…what’s this? I love myself? I love my personality & who I am? HELL YES I DO!!! Gah! I can totally picture myself doing what they do in this video…dancing, smiling, having a flipping good time & not caring who sees! And I miss that girl!! She was so much fun! And happy!
So I realized….why the HECK do I need to get healthy for someone else? I DON’T!!! I’m doing this for ME!! For that girl that’s still in there somewhere under all the junk food & laziness. She watched this video & it called to her ‘PLEASE COME BACK!’ Music has always been a big part of my life. It speaks to me like nothing else. If I’m sour all I have to do is put one good song on my ipod & all of a sudden BAM! I’m bursting with joy.
My hubby caught me in the kitchen one day. I had my ipod in it’s little ihome & was just getting down & grooving!! I was smiling & bouncing around & singing…And all of a sudden I hear a chuckle & turn around & he says to me “You really just can’t help yourself can you?” I responded a of course “nope :)” & straight went back to what I was doing. I’ve even been caught at work just dancing when certain songs come on the radio. One of my co-workers even asked me one day “Are you okay Sam?” I said “Yes why?!” She looks at me & says “Well you’ve not danced today yet.” & trust me she had no sarcasm in her voice!
I’ve chained this lovely, happy, confident self of me up under all this laying around on the couch & eating crap that makes me feel…well like crap!! So THANK YOU HANSON!!! I knew there was a reason I’ve always loved them. I’m getting healthy for me because I freaking love who I am & I’m awesome & worth it!!